I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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