This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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