hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
