I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
