STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
