the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
