I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I think it stinks sheβs cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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