I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
