I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
