Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
