I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
