I looked at my own cervix.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Hippo gnu deer
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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