Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
