you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
