i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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