I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize
