Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Dick very happy bro
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
