Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
