have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
