I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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