It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
