Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So much Jack, so little girl.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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