the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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