She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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