halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
