guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
