ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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