If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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