i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
