I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
