i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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