dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
