shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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