I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
