Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
wow bdsm is so cute
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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