I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
