I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
