the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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