Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
