batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
