To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
