Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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