2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
