You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
