gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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