she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
