CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Swine flu is the new snow day.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
