He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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