There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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