Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
