Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
