I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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